it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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