you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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