oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Randomize
