i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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