1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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