The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
