hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
