You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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