yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize