TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
