My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
