Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
