listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
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