I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
