i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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