Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
