I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
