Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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