ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
