With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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