I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
