Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
