there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
