NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
