There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
