No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Randomize
