i jhust puked up my retainher.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
