my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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