We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
