I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
