You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
