who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
My life is pants optional.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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