Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
