Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
