Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
