So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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