I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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