Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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