I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize
