There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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