she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
