alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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