I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
