I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
