And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
