i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
