i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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