You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
True strength comes from lack of pants
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
