walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
