i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
