I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
